In the moment between sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep and wake
I am weightless, I am nothing
I am a condor soaring over a graveyard in Spain
I am a fat mud coloured fish
Basking in the depths of a place no human goes
I am without means or shame or action
I float in an anxiety free tank of vast proportions
Everything, anyone, no one, no way, easy
And as I lay and soar and bask
There is the sound of an alarm clock loud blasting blaspheming
Oh no! This is my poem, my choices
As I surface, drifting on a sliver lined cloud I hear a sound
A chug chug woo woo of a sound
A blessed brave and bonny sound
My 1950s Teasmade is waking me up.
Dahlian Kirby is a counsellor and a facilitator of writing for well-being courses and workshops. She works on line and when possible face to face. Most of her work is inspired by animals and the sea. This poem was inspired by that moment between sleep and being in the world. The poem reminded her that we can take responsibility for our actions and thoughts just as we can choose the way we write. Writing is a choice- it can help and sometimes heal.
How writing has affected Dahlian’s wellbeing: I loved writing stories as a child and still do. For me writing for wellbeing is a way to express my thoughts and feelings exactly how I want to. Some of my writing I share and some I don’t. Writing is such a powerful medium – we can say what we want, say what we may not normally have the courage to say. I believe that all writing is autobiographical, even our shopping lists. The pandemic has greatly affected the way I write- I have written much more in my journal, it’s been a great comfort. This poem Mornings sums up my struggles with anxiety during this strange and special time. Writing for wellbeing helps me choose a happy ending.